And so we come to the next Primark bargain that I haven’t yet worn properly… the maxi skirt, bought at the end of summer last year. The dreaded maxi. It seems like such a great idea, doesn’t it? The perfect summer item. All the celebs, that cool girl down the street, the stylists- they’re all wearing them, looking flawless. But great ideas don’t always turn out the way you hope. It’s like rolling in Nutella, or signing up to do a half-marathon. Sure, they start great, but they slowly descend into a sticky mess of regret.
There are three key reasons that I thought my maxi skirt was going to lead me down the Nutella slip-n-slide:
- They do weird things in the wind. Either they flow along behind you making it look like you’re walking down a wind tunnel, or horror of horrors, they poof up. The poofing is my worst fear. At any moment it could fill with air, transforming you into the Michelin man, or a strange human hot air balloon. I used to have a pair of school tracksuits that did the same thing, and I can assure you my self-conscious teenage self did not appreciate looking like a sumo wrestler ready to play hockey.
- Are they a little bit formal for casual wear? I don’t know why but there is an idea ingrained in me that I must, at all costs, look like I put absolutely no effort into getting dressed in the morning, and that’s hard to pull off with a long skirt
- For a clumsy oaf like me, it’s a trip hazard. They restrict your stride so you have to mince around to avoid stumbling to your death.
Despite all this, because it was a fiver in the sale (and because I thought it was a great idea), I bought it.
I’m not usually much of a crop top (this one is from H&M) person because I am so pale that several men on match.com called me a vampire. However, they’re actually the perfect companion for a maxi skirt because you just get that little strip of skin on show. I added a denim shirt (Primark) and Converse to make it more casual, solving problem 2. Problems 1 and 3 were solved by a handy slit in the side- air can pass freely in and out and so can my legs when I walk. Excellent. I added my favourite necklace from H&M to finish it all off. It’s a snake that can snazz anything up.
All in all, I’m pretty pleased with it. I love patterns so the skirt had me there, and it’s definitely shown me that not all maxi skirts lead to certain death. I’m sure some do though.